So I'd like to share with you a story that I read in one of general Egan's earlier versions of the skilled
Helper.
No this is a story that made a massive massive massive impact on my thinking when I first read it.
And nothing was last year when I was speaking to Gerry face to face.
I asked him about the story and because he'd written 11 versions of the book the skilled helper.
He couldn't even remember adding the story into one of his earlier editions.
And the story was about President Bill Clinton.
Now he'd be newly elected that he was just entering or moving into the White House and I think it was
President Bush that was exiting.
So they were doing the handover and Clinton had said once all the paperwork had been saying that he
wanted to go for a walk around his city.
He wanted to go visit some of the most destitute parts.
So cut the story short.
Off you went.
A few of his bodyguards went with him and as he was walking through one of the local parts of the city
he was quite quickly approached by a few ladies who lived locally.
What if the ladies start getting quite irate and you know Mr. Clinton Mr. Clinton you know what are
you going to do about this.
What are you going to do about that.
And started talking about the problems and our fears and our issues and you know asking them all about
what he was going to do as president and all this kind of thing and he didn't respond them until she
started silencing down a little bit and then he did respond.
He said dear woman what do you want and apparently the lady was just kind of a little bit dumbfounded
a little bit stuck.
It took her around about 30 seconds to really consider what she actually wanted and then she went on
to respond by saying well you know we'd like I would like to see all the drug dealers off my streets.
I would I would like to be more jobs for our husbands so we can really afford a higher quality of life.
I'd like her streets cleared up better educational opportunities and and.
And that was.
And that was that.
And just a very very simple story but what said that the principle is is that it's very very easy times
to focus more upon what we don't want in life than upon what we do on the degree of progress that we
ultimately going to make in life is going to be determined by the size and the scale of our vision.
No I don't know whether this is old folklore or whether it's a fable or whether it's true.
But I heard a rumor once that goldfish will grow to the size of the ball that they are housed in.
All right.
No obviously maybe in me the way that my mind works I'm not quite ask questions such as what happens
if a goldfish bowls that size kind of goldfish really go you know grow to that size.
They water.
I don't think so.
But I don't know.
I'm not I'm not sure however whether that's true or well let us know it's kind of irrelevant before
it is true as we will never move beyond a stage or a phase in life that we can visualize ourselves having
reached.
All right.
So when we do not have a vision for bigger brighter future for a bigger better version of ourselves
we're never going to surpass it if we don't have a vision for our future full stop.
If we're just focused on what we've got today and you know how we are today then we're most likely never
going to have more tomorrow than what we've ever historically hard before in the past.
So the size and the scale of the future vision that we have for our lives is going to influence the
action that we take towards getting there or otherwise.
So as life coaches I am going to suggest that one of the most important rules that we can play is helping
our clients to really grasp it can fill out a compelling vision for their future.
Because some people go through life focusing on absolute rubbish.
Many people in life just go through their days focusing on how they're feeling.
Some people go through life focusing on the World News focusing and all the mayhem that's going on over
there some people focus on the economy.
And when we focus on these things how do we feel.
Well if you were to focus on the economy right now.
If I was to focus on the economy would most likely get a little bit nervous all right here in the UK
as we're considering Brexit and what this means.
And as a whole lot of economic uncertainty in the world.
So when we focus on on certain things of course we can end up feeling rather uncertain and our spirits.
So we don't want to just share you share with you here is a framework of focus.
All right there's a couple of ways in which we define ourselves in life.
Sometimes we go through life finding ourselves by what we do we sometimes define ourselves by how we
feel we sometimes define ourselves in response to the outcomes that we've had at some point in the past.
I'm going to suggest that those ways are never particularly helpful ways of defining ourselves.
Why.
Because our outputs our outcomes can also change and we are all capable of growing way way way beyond
what we would be naturally inclined to think we could we could grow too.
So it's important we get clear on the vision that we have for our future and what we are actually looking
forward to.
All right.
And think about it when we are young.
Sometimes the greatest vision we can have is passing our school exams or our high school exams or getting
our degrees or diplomas perhaps at this stage of your life.
The greatest vision that you have might be complete in this course which is a bit of an epic journey
isn't it.
Which is fine nothing wrong with us but I'm going to suggest that if you do want to complete a course
such as this or if you do want to finish your high school education you've got to have a reason for
doing so.
All right.
The size and the scale of the vision that we have for our future is going to determine how committed
we remain and stay to the process.
All right.
And that's why I wanted to really integrate that last demonstration with current into the course right
now because we can talk about limiting beliefs and we can settle the fantastic goals that we want to
we can get action plans in place.
But if the goals and the action plans aren't in alignment with a vision that is meaningful for our clients
then they might struggle with the motivation to really spur them on to do a and take that consistent
action that they need to keep on taking towards ultimately get into this place where they need to be.
All right.
So we've got to get clear on what we're focused on any one given moment in time because sometimes we're
going to have an incident see little small vision that's kind of going to be quite meaningless forests
sometimes we're going to have a massive vision that is going to mean everything for us the size and
scale of the vision that we have for our future is going to always determine how motivated we are in
the present.
All right.
No.
If you want to understand and get an appreciation for just how unmotivated many people are.
Go on YouTube and type in more motivational video what you're going to have you're going to get some
really high energy back b some music with some movie clips and some people saying some inspirational
words and people call those things motivational.
Well I guess if that's the only thing that motivates you in life watch in snippets of movies then yeah
you might not have a particularly compelling vision for your future.
So where is it that people's focus goes because we are the focus cause the energy flows and we're not
just talking our thoughts anymore.
All right.
Some people will devote an entire lifetime to enhancing their skills their abilities.
Some people become perfectionists and there's nothing wrong.
Have an attention to detail.
Nothing wrong having particularly high standards when it comes to the work that we do but it can't be.
It's all right.
If our skills and abilities and becoming an expert is something as great as vision that we have for
our future.
I'm gonna suggest that our vision is quite small.
Then there's our physical looks.
All right then how many people do you know who are never away from their mobile phone taking selfies
where the number one priority in life is to get noticed and to trend for puckering up and blowing people
I guess.
What do you selfies look like.
Girls look like they've got a couple of Clippers going on and the lips or blown up lips and also I think
some people prioritize their physical looks have been the main thing in the world.
Big Vision small vision you get to decide how babies are smarts.
All right how knowledgeable we are.
Well many people Bowden based their confidence and life upon how knowledgeable they perceive themselves
to be sometimes in some of the more prestigious academic environments such as St. Andrews University
close to where I live here in Scotland and I've worked with a few students in the past who don't Boden
base their confidence upon how smart they actually are they like to judge themselves in comparison to
the grades that other people are getting.
So if they're getting good grades other people are not getting so good grades or if they're getting
bad grades in other people.
This kind of gives them their confidence and what I'm going to suggest is that comparing ourselves to
other people be this no knowledge or looks or skills and abilities.
Certainly not a strong set of foundations that we could be building or basing our life upon.
Obviously I'm talking about us as human beings first life coaches second all right.
If we understand this stuff then we can obviously share these insights with our clients if appropriate
at a relevant time.
Sometimes we're going to boat and base our confidence upon our ability to articulate well to communicate
to vocalize that truth which is in us a mind the perfect communicator.
Absolutely not.
You most certainly will not be either.
We're all just on the path to getting better are we to progress and some people build and base of confidence
upon how confident they feel in life which is often gonna be a false sense of confidence.
Have you ever known anyone who walked into a room and just steal the show be the life and soul of the
party.
Well you know many people when they are pretending to be confident or making themselves out to be confident
they are just doing their best to mask the role and security.
What I'm going to suggest all right is that therefore a vision is just to be confident in the future.
Well that is kind of just a feeling isn't it.
If our goal is just to articulate well to be a perfect communicator to be a great teacher to be a great
influencer to.
Be a great leader.
For what purpose.
What greater purpose does it serve.
Hoboes being smart growing in knowledge.
We can spend the rest of our lives in academia if we want to we can get as many diplomas and degrees
and Masters under our balance as what we want to but for what purpose.
What purpose does it ultimately serve.
How both our physical looks.
Well unfortunately all right we're all getting older and none of us are getting younger.
None of us are ever going to get more youthful again and we're all kind of Saigon and go inside with
the older we get our skills and abilities and come and go as well.
But the one thing that can be consistent forests and in life as our core identity.
All right.
Sometimes we can develop skills and then we can we can forget how to do things our looks will fade.
Sometimes we'll forget the knowledge that we have absorbed at some point previously in the past and
our ability to articulate well is is OK.
This is absolutely fine and our confidence can sometimes fluctuate depends on circumstances and situations
that we find ourselves in.
But what I'm really pointing towards here is the kind of foundation that we can build and base our life
so on that actually sets us free.
I'm not talking about beliefs anymore.
I'm not talking about thought patterns.
They're certainly not talking about opinions or theories or or anything like this.
Scientific revolutions or no I'm talking about our core identity when we become grounded in the truth
of who we are in life.
We become free to simply be ourselves.
Now in the last demonstration this was one of the final parts of the of the exercise current getting
a picture for who it is that she was to become and what I'm going to boldly suggest here that the most
meaningful vision that we can have for our futures.
It's going to motivate and inspire us to continue to progress and advance and get stuff done in life
as his vision for who we're going to become.
Just to give you an example before we move on to the core identity model.
I want to share this one with you as soon as possible.
In October last year I ended up going to the to the doctors because I am a lump heads had appeared on
my chest.
No I feared the worst catastrophes.
I thought it might be cancerous.
The doctor ended up validating my thoughts and fears and also said that she thought it was cancerous
and it was only when I ended up going to the hospital and getting all the tests and all my exams done
that's all I was given the all clear but to be honest with you when I first went to the doctors the
doctor said Yes Cain and we fear this lump on your chest as is non mobile which would lead me to believe
that it is cancerous.
And what didn't go through my head when I was faced with the fact that I might not be here in twelve
months from now I didn't think about how can I go would enhance my skills and abilities for the next
12 months and then think about well my goodness I'm not handsome enough how can I go and make myself
better looking.
I didn't think about my goodness I need to go and grow in knowledge or good read some more books I didn't
even think about and you know how well I communicate are becoming a better communicator or being more
influential than my confidence although all went completely out the window.
The only thing that became relevant to me when I was faced with the fact that I might actually not be
here in twelve months was and haven't yet been a dad.
All right.
And this son Charlie just overnight became the most compelling vision that I had for my life.
Granted I was given the all clear in the end but this vision is actually the vision that drives me.
Today is me and Curran are progressing through the adoption process because for us adopting children
is just very very meaningful for us both.
So the questions that I'm asking myself today am are and how can I improve myself and get better in
all these areas.
But instead I'm looking at questions and provoking me to evaluate where I am today and how I'm being
today in light of who I who I want to become as a father.
The last thing I would want to be is the kind of father for my kids that I had for me.
I'm not saying my dad was a bad man or anything like that.
It was just that I've learned from some lessons from the past and I just simply want to be better.
So in the same way it's true for me and will be true for Karen and what will be true for Karen was likely
also be true for you will be true for you will also be true for your clients.
What myth.
What motivates us most in life is never what we can get or what we can halve or what we compare with
or what we can go on to achieve but rather instead who we can go on to become and what purpose this
is ultimately going to serve us.
All right so then we're talking about some really big guy.
These know some big ideas that I'm hoping to unpack and help you to better appreciate and a couple of
videos that follow as I introduce you to the core identity coaching process.